So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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