covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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