fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize