it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize