I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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