So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
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He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize