brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
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he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
His hands were made for my vagina.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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