so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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