She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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