I just made out with a guy for $7.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize