Soap is not a condiment
It's Friday. Sex?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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