Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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