Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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