Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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