my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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