In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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