You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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