My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Are we still banned from the library?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize