new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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