i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
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and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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