I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize