I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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