they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
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Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
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My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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