Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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