I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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