i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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