I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I looked at my own cervix.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize