I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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