I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize