He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize