when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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