i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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