Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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