Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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