also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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