The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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