i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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