I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
its not stalking. its research.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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