I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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