turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
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Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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