I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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