I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize