At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize