So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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