Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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