so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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