So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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