I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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