I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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