Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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